just some shows. 12/11 - 12/13

just some shows. (12/11 – 12/13)

It seems [insert preferred religious/non-religious holiday here] has come early (late if you celebrate Hanukkah). This weekend, Krampus is delivering a hefty sack of music and joy to Orlando and its various neighborhoods. Whether you like to dance, mosh, or buy knick-knacks, everyone gets a gift this weekend. Enjoy.

FRIDAY

Yogurt Smoothness ‘Slumlord’ EP Release

Pysch fuzz two-piece Yogurt Smoothness‘ last release was 2013’s Heavy Cream. Two years later, Slumlord will explode into your ears for the first time at Stardust Video & Coffee. But the Bros. Yo aren’t going to be the only ones making your latte pulse like Jeff Goldblum’s water in Jurassic Park, fellow two-piecers, Slumberjack and The Welzeins, are sharing the stage for what’s sure to be Stardust’s loudest night in years. This show is free, so you have no excuse to not pick up the new EP, available on CD or a limited edition 10″.

more info.

SATURDAY

1995

You may remember 1995 as the year OJ was acquitted, the year Beanie Babies turned children into craised dope-like fiends, and the year Full House ended, leaving a everlasting hole in America’s heart. But apparently, music also existed two decades ago. Enough that the good people at Will’s Pub are dedicating an entire evening to celebrating the year Kylie Jenner was born. Teen Agers and The Pauses are performing ’95 cover sets, including songs from Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, Bjork, Green Day, Hum, Foo Fighters and many more — fingers-crossed for Alanis Morissette’s “Hand in My Pocket.” Comedian Larry Fulford will throw jokes way over the audience’s heads as he performs bits about news stories from that golden year. Expect at least a handful of party-goers to say, “If the glove does not fit, then you must acquit.” Or maybe It’ll just be me, saying it 50 or so times.

more info.

A Very Body//Talk Christmas

A business office party on Xanx, B//T is holding their third annual Christmas party at The Milk District (dubbed The Nog District until 12/26) on Saturday. Resident DJs VSN QST and GRÜVV will be playing ultra-festive mixes in Sandwich Bar, while Orlando singer-songwriter Evan Taylor Jones and Midnight Inspector lull you into a sugar plum coma at Spacebar. The dance party gurus are collecting can goods to be donated to Orlandians in need. In exchange for two cans of quality food — don’t bring your Grandma’s cranberry substitute from 1995 — the $7 entry will be knocked down to 5.

more info.

SUNDAY

Grandma Party Bazaar 2015

Last year’s Grandma Party Bazaar was a really busy, really lively afternoon. TVW photographer Karina Curto and I live blogged the entire event. The two of us frantically bolted around snapping pictures, absorbing vibes, and regurgitating our findings for like … five hours. That being said, Grandma Party IS AWESOME. A stew of all things local, this festival of grandmas broils together handmade gifts from a variety of Orlando’s artisans and music by the cities best acts. The pot all of it’s cooked in: the parking lot of Stardust Video & Coffee.

This year, Lavola, Summer Spiders, The Secret People, Timothy Eerie, Wet Nurse, and Polylust will all take the stage sometime between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. My hope is that Polylust will bring out a burlesque granny who sits in everyone’s lap. While perusing the abundant booths looking for a present for a loved one, be sure to stop by Hello Happy Plants, the most bazaar gardening shop you’ve never seen. They sell succulents that come in troll dolls, toilets, beer cans, chip bags, sharks and more — and the owners are just plain delightful!

more info.

Hometown Heroes: The Pauses Release 1994 Show Footage

Last month, The Pauses, Wet Nurse, and The New Lows all covered songs from 1994, a year that produced a baffling amount of legendary songs. The show was a big hit, containing tributes from the obvious, The Pauses playing Soundgarden, to the more surprising, Wet Nurse taking on Ace of Base. If you missed the show, you can still peek into the night, and watch The Pauses bang out four tunes from the year that rocked. My personal favorite is the megaphone on “Vasoline”. Enjoy.




 

Peace Treats Records – “Greetings from Orlando” PART FIN!

Sorry about the lapse in time for this last part, but the wait is well worth it. For our final installment we have Thee Wilt Chamberlain, The Pauses, and Luscious Lisa. Thanks to all the people who supported this run-through, it succeeded my expectations ten-fold, and I couldn’t have done it without all the help from the bands. Greetings from Orlando proves that this Central Florida city is worth much more than a corporate mouse. We have some of the best music in the country, and by the far the best music blog. Stay tuned in for more, because Orlando’s got much more to give, and I’ve got much more to write. Enjoy.

READ PARTS ONEDEUCETHIRD, AND NEXT TO LAST NOW!!!! THE FATE OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON YOU!

Thee Wilt Chamberlain – “Breakfast at Taco Bell”

Thee Wilt Chamberlain produce the only pure instrumental on Greetings from Orlando. “Breakfast at Taco Bell” is fitting for the tail end of the compilation: a smooth cool comedown, relaxing in the shade, and sipping on something refreshing. Thee Wilt Chamberlain are a trio you want to party with. These guys have been around for a while, and they’ve become a pretty strong presence in the Orlando music scene. They’ll be playing at the Greetings from Orlando release show this on Wednesday @ Uncle Lou’s! Get yo damn ass there.


Yearning for more? Thee Wilt Chamberlain provide all you need on their Bandcamp.

The Pauses – “The Beginnings of Things”

The Pauses‘ fresh sound breaths new life into Greetings from Orlando. On “The Beginnings of Things,” the band manipulates guitar riffs, synthesizer melodies, and other sonic marvels to create a flurry of sound. There’s a lot going on here, but this track doesn’t seem out of place on the compilation. The distorted beats fire with as much intensity as any guitar-driven song, and the veil of fuzz that cloaks the track cements The Pauses’ garage sensibilities. They’re playing on March 22 @ Will’s with Five Eight and The New Lows. Don’t miss out.


The Pauses keep things rollin’ on their Bandcamp! Satisfaction guaranteed.

Luscious Lisa – “Cocksuckers (Uh Huh)”

I’ll go ahead and say it: I’ve never been a big fan of white girl rap. But, Luscious Lisa seems like she would beat Eminem (yes I’m calling Marshall Mathers white girl rap) in a bar fight, and for that, I love her. Although the song isn’t my flavor, I think it makes a great closer to Greetings from Orlando. “Cocksuckers (Uh Huh)” blindsides you, and by the end you have more questions than answers. But, I think those were her intentions.